Today, I am feeling quite undone by Jesus. Very likely not as undone as Isaiah felt when, after King Uzziah had died, he experienced the holy presence of God in the temple, but I am feeling undone nevertheless. This is good, the kind of good that comes from hope and future grace. After knowing and following Jesus for over 20 years, I know well enough that His work may initially bring discomfort and hurt but, once finished, is always worth it. I can look back and say that I have never regretted saying "yes" to Jesus, neither the big "yes" at the beginning of the rescuing relationship nor all the other "yeses" along the journey.
My experience today is as if Jesus is rearranging the furniture without asking my permission; he doesn't need it after all. Yet, I am giving it, because I so want to live in agreement with him. I want to walk as Jesus walked, doing only what I see the Father doing and speaking only what I hear Him speaking. It is not enough just to passively believe Him or to believe in in Him, solely giving mental assent to Him, His works and His words; He desires and commands discipleship, actual following. Not "following" like we "follow" someone on Twitter nowadays. Following Jesus is, through surrender, recognizing that I am not my own, that he bought me with a price, and then actually living the Jesus life. And this "living the Jesus life" is not just asking what Jesus did and then trying to mimic it; it is looking at his actual life in the Gospels and then giving myself over to the authority and leading of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Jesus, that I am baptized by and into.
Surrender is a wonderfully painful gift; at first approach, it never feels good. Surrender, even to a perfect Father, offends my rights and my control, well, at least the illusion of them. However, it is only through this yielding to my Master that I will finally know peace and wholeness. For it is only when I recognize that I am His, and therefore all I am and have is His, that I am living in my true identity.
In the midst of so many "voices" crying out to give me identity and a purpose, he alone actually delivers. Nothing else, when I have truly tested and tried it out, when I have trudged all the way to the source of the stream, ever satisfies. In those times when I have so closely encountered the presence of Jesus, I have never come away thinking, "There's got to be more than this!" Encountering Jesus leads me to want to know Him more but never leaves me thinking that there must be more.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Confessions of a Hypocrite
I have a confession to make - I am a hypocrite!
Since the United States government shutdown about 13 days ago, I have engaged in many conversations, some online and some face to face, concerning how I view the role of our federal government, specifically in regard to healthcare. Politically speaking, I have a hard time finding a specific niche, but the closest I can come is to say that I am a social and fiscal conservative with libertarian leanings, supporting limited government and personal freedom. During the course of my conversations, with friends on the left and the right politically, I have consistently argued against the Affordable Care Act (aka "Obamacare") from the standpoint that it is government overreach. So, in my judgment, even if it "works," this government controlled, universal health care is an example of the federal government operating outside its constitutional purview. Plus, I am still not convinced that guaranteed health "coverage," under a more socialized system, will necessarily translate into better, universal health "care."
I have held the position for years that it is not our government's job to care for the poor, hurting and needy but that it is the responsibility of local communities - expressed through families, neighbors, faith communities, and various organizations. I still hold to that conviction and believe firmly that our government is, in countless ways, WAY to big for its britches...er, its founding documents. Time after time, we, as a people, are too quick to give away our freedoms for the promise of government care and security. This I still believe and, even as I type, become more resolute that our federal government needs to decrease so that the American citizenry may increase and flourish.
However, another conviction is growing within me, and this one goes deeper and is much more personal than my view on worldly government. This conviction deals with my heart and, therefore, my very life. See, vastly more important than my citizenship in the United States is the fact that I am a follower of Jesus. As a Jesus-follower, I believe that people, all people, are sacred simply because they are created by God in His image. People are people! That is not just a redundant truism; a person's value is not relative to their wealth, social status, gender, race, religion or any other descriptor or label.
Because all people are sacred, I believe that all people have an inherent dignity and, therefore, deserve love, respect and care. This is where the hypocrisy is revealed within me. I spout that it is not the government's responsibility to care for people but that it is our job, the people's job. In conversation with some of my more liberal, or progressive, friends, I do not hear men and women who want to ruin the country; at least among my friends and relatives who lean more to the left politically, I hear the hearts of men and women who genuinely care for people and want them to be cared for. We may have radically different views and approaches as to how that care is to be expressed, but I want to honor loving, even Christ-like motives wherever they may be found.
As I have listened to and argued with my left-leaning friends, I have had to examine my own heart, and in that examination, I have come to a few conclusions. Limited government is good; Jesus is greater; and I am a hypocrite. I have sat back, criticized our government (and those who support it), spouted personal and local responsibility tidbits, and...done almost nothing about it. Conversing with those I disagree with, on how to help, has driven me to see how little I actually help. As I see it, higher taxes (even those devised to help others) are bad, and generosity in helping those truly in need is good. However, the truth is I have not been generous toward the poor and hurting with the resources God has entrusted me to steward - my time, talents, and resources. If being a Christian is simply subscribing to a creed and believing in Jesus as an ideology, then I'm pretty okay; however, if it actually means following Jesus, then I need forgiveness, mercy and empowering grace.
True confession must lead to true repentance, a transformative turning from the old, hypocritical path onto the path of integrity, where my feet are moving in the same direction as my mouth. To paraphrase, or slaughter, the Apostle Paul's words to the 1st century Jesus-followers in Corinth - "If I have the correct political philosophy and don't love those around me, I'm just a noisy windbag." Believing the right things must lead to doing the right things; otherwise, it's just words. When I'm hurting, financially broke or alone, I want more than words; I want presence. I want love.
Father, forgive me for not living out the sacrificial compassion of Jesus. I have spoken of Your compassion, yet I have not followed it up with Your action. Help me, by the power of Your Spirit, to love those around me, especially those who are broken, hurting and truly needy. Move in on my hypocrisy; renovate my heart; help me to walk in integrity. I want to honor you with my lips, my heart, and my hands and feet. All that I have is Yours; forgive me for treating it as my own. Use me in whatever manner You desire to reveal Your compassion, care and comfort to those around me, and lead me to those not yet around me so I may serve them too. Thank You God for Your grace, mercy and patience with me.
Since the United States government shutdown about 13 days ago, I have engaged in many conversations, some online and some face to face, concerning how I view the role of our federal government, specifically in regard to healthcare. Politically speaking, I have a hard time finding a specific niche, but the closest I can come is to say that I am a social and fiscal conservative with libertarian leanings, supporting limited government and personal freedom. During the course of my conversations, with friends on the left and the right politically, I have consistently argued against the Affordable Care Act (aka "Obamacare") from the standpoint that it is government overreach. So, in my judgment, even if it "works," this government controlled, universal health care is an example of the federal government operating outside its constitutional purview. Plus, I am still not convinced that guaranteed health "coverage," under a more socialized system, will necessarily translate into better, universal health "care."
I have held the position for years that it is not our government's job to care for the poor, hurting and needy but that it is the responsibility of local communities - expressed through families, neighbors, faith communities, and various organizations. I still hold to that conviction and believe firmly that our government is, in countless ways, WAY to big for its britches...er, its founding documents. Time after time, we, as a people, are too quick to give away our freedoms for the promise of government care and security. This I still believe and, even as I type, become more resolute that our federal government needs to decrease so that the American citizenry may increase and flourish.
However, another conviction is growing within me, and this one goes deeper and is much more personal than my view on worldly government. This conviction deals with my heart and, therefore, my very life. See, vastly more important than my citizenship in the United States is the fact that I am a follower of Jesus. As a Jesus-follower, I believe that people, all people, are sacred simply because they are created by God in His image. People are people! That is not just a redundant truism; a person's value is not relative to their wealth, social status, gender, race, religion or any other descriptor or label.
Because all people are sacred, I believe that all people have an inherent dignity and, therefore, deserve love, respect and care. This is where the hypocrisy is revealed within me. I spout that it is not the government's responsibility to care for people but that it is our job, the people's job. In conversation with some of my more liberal, or progressive, friends, I do not hear men and women who want to ruin the country; at least among my friends and relatives who lean more to the left politically, I hear the hearts of men and women who genuinely care for people and want them to be cared for. We may have radically different views and approaches as to how that care is to be expressed, but I want to honor loving, even Christ-like motives wherever they may be found.
As I have listened to and argued with my left-leaning friends, I have had to examine my own heart, and in that examination, I have come to a few conclusions. Limited government is good; Jesus is greater; and I am a hypocrite. I have sat back, criticized our government (and those who support it), spouted personal and local responsibility tidbits, and...done almost nothing about it. Conversing with those I disagree with, on how to help, has driven me to see how little I actually help. As I see it, higher taxes (even those devised to help others) are bad, and generosity in helping those truly in need is good. However, the truth is I have not been generous toward the poor and hurting with the resources God has entrusted me to steward - my time, talents, and resources. If being a Christian is simply subscribing to a creed and believing in Jesus as an ideology, then I'm pretty okay; however, if it actually means following Jesus, then I need forgiveness, mercy and empowering grace.
True confession must lead to true repentance, a transformative turning from the old, hypocritical path onto the path of integrity, where my feet are moving in the same direction as my mouth. To paraphrase, or slaughter, the Apostle Paul's words to the 1st century Jesus-followers in Corinth - "If I have the correct political philosophy and don't love those around me, I'm just a noisy windbag." Believing the right things must lead to doing the right things; otherwise, it's just words. When I'm hurting, financially broke or alone, I want more than words; I want presence. I want love.
Father, forgive me for not living out the sacrificial compassion of Jesus. I have spoken of Your compassion, yet I have not followed it up with Your action. Help me, by the power of Your Spirit, to love those around me, especially those who are broken, hurting and truly needy. Move in on my hypocrisy; renovate my heart; help me to walk in integrity. I want to honor you with my lips, my heart, and my hands and feet. All that I have is Yours; forgive me for treating it as my own. Use me in whatever manner You desire to reveal Your compassion, care and comfort to those around me, and lead me to those not yet around me so I may serve them too. Thank You God for Your grace, mercy and patience with me.
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